POLITICAL OBSERVATIONS
Collected by Jon Winokur

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary.
— H. L. MENCKEN

He knows nothing, and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
— GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Politics has its own language, which is often so complex that it borders on being a code, and the main trick in political journalism is learning how to translate — to make sense of the partisan bullshit that even your friends will lay on you — without crippling your access to the kind of information that allows you to keep functioning.
— HUNTER S. THOMPSON

The “press conference” is a politician’s way of being informative without saying anything. Should he accidentally say something, he has at his side a “press officer’ who immediately explains it away by “clarifying” it.
			—EMERY KELLEN

A politician’s words reveal less about what he thinks about his subject than what he thinks about his audience.
			— GEORGE WILL

	A “gaffe” occurs not when a politician lies, but when he tells the truth.
	— MICHAEL KINSLEY

Ninety percent of politicians give the other 10 percent a bad name.
	— HENRY KISSINGER

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
	— MARK TWAIN

A politician should have three hats: one for throwing in the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of.
	— CARL SANDBURG

A politician will always be there when he needs you.
	RICHARD SMOLIK

We get the best politicians in this country that money can buy.
			— WILL ROGERS

I played by the rules of politics as I found them.
— RICHARD M. NIXON

All political parties die at last of swallowing  their own lies.
—JOHN ARBUTHNOT

It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
—EUGENE.MCCARTHY

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.
 — JAMES THURBER

The most successful politician is the one who says what everybody is thinking most often and in the loudest voice.
— THEODORE ROOSEVELT

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
—GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Democracy doesn’t rule the world, you better get that in your head.  This world is ruled by violence, but I guess that’s better left unsaid.
		— BOB DYLAN

No man’s life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
	— MARK TWAIN

Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he’ll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.
							—DAVID BRODER

If the economy is good, the president could be having sex with a horse and nobody would care.
		— BILL MAHER

Being president is like running a cemetery: you’ve got a lot of people under you and nobody’s listening.
______________________	_— WILLIAM JEFFERSON CLINTON